Writtle Wanderers RUFC

Writtle Wanderers RUFC
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Millwall II v Writtle Wanderers 1st XV
(BL Merit Table - Div 3)
by Jon Horne - "The Voice of Rugby"

Not since the days of Hitler's Luftwaffe has the Capitals East End seen such scenes of devastation and destruction.

After the Writtle clubs glorious win against Millwall's 1st XV in the Essex President's Shield this fixture had all the hallmarks of a rather embarrassing banana skin. From the derogatory match report posted on the Millwall website it was clear the Eastenders did not fully value their tangerine tormentors and early reports suggested revenge was on the menu; and from their much vaunted 2nd XV at that. The following report suggests, however, that this planned reciprocity did not materialize in quite the way they envisaged.

The day began with an uncharacteristically punctual meeting, with all the Wanderers' players eager and raring to go. All that is, except Neil "the housewives choice" Theobald. Where this normally committed player was on the morning of this important game I leave the reader to surmise, but he certainly wasn't in the front row of the scrum where he belongs. The long and the short of this absence meant that Graham Dawson had to be prised away from his pipe fitting exploits in Brentwood to complete the tangerine triad at the coal face.

[Editor's Note: Neil Theobald had informed his Committee contact that he was unavailable due to work commitments, but this message had not been passed onto the Selection Committee!]

The game began with the Wanderers taking a gamble and playing the lightning quick Messo at scrum half. This bold move by the management mandarins bore considerable fruit in what can only be described as a "marmalizing" first half.

Within the first five minutes the Clementine colossi were searing through the home sides try line to score freely with no response from the much vaunted home side. Messo and Dempsey in the three quarters linked beautifully to put enormous pressure on the Millwall defence with further exploitation coming from the powerful centre pairing of Janes and Brown. The orang-utan pack was once again immense, Richards et al rucked and mauled with disciplined ferocity allowing the flying machines in the backs to exploit the acres of space created.

[Editor's Note: Messo and Dempsey were in fact playing as half backs, not three quarters.]

The tries are too numerous to report individually, however Messo's solo effort, running from the base of the scrum and outpacing the petrified defence was certainly the pick of the crop. Janes, once again playing masterfully, helping himself to a well deserved hat trick. Clark was again on target with the boot, bagging five conversions and a penalty to add to his customary try. The pack were not left out of the scoring spree with Richards ploughing over after some strong driving and all eight will take credit for the push over which culminated in Redfern's touchdown. Dempsey, returning to his old stomping ground, a club he played over seventy times for, showed little charity swerving his way over from what seemed at first an innocuous situation.

One of the more bizarre episodes of this enthralling first half involved Hall the Wanderers blind side flanker. From a ruck close to half way he took exception to his opposite number holding on in an offside position. In response Hall gave a solo percussion performance of some note, using the offside players back like a pair of bongo drums, this correspondent can only guess he was beating out an early Christmas message to Messo's relatives in Kenya. This being the only blemish on a clean and fairly played encounter.

50 - 0 was a severe but fair score and the crowd were licking their lips in anticipation for more of the same in the second half.

The second period, however, was more of an even affair. The Wanderers found themselves firmly on the back foot, desperately defending in their 22 for long periods. The home side were clearly desperate to get something out of the game and threw the proverbial citrus fruit squeezer at the away sides line in an attempt to get some points on the board. This, unfortunately for them, was not to happen. The nomadic nectarines thin orange line held firm and were able to develop pressure themselves. Two tries resulted, Janes, with his hat-trick completing third a real gem; there is certainly no substitute for pace in this game.

At the death it looked like the Wanderers would score again to wrap things up in style. Janes clever kick gave Horne a chase inside the home 22, the replacement wing expertly gathered despite enormous defensive pressure but was unable to get the ball away cleanly. The ball became loose and the Millwall wing was away, galloping for the line. Morris, the giant lock, was the only defender to beat but in a never say die show of determination he caught up and put in a try saving tackle to prevent a certain score. This ended any further drama and the final whistle went to leave the final score Millwall 0 Wanderers 60.

[Editor's Note: Aside from correcting facts, the Editor has made no attempt to alter this report from the original submitted by "The Voice".. However, inter alia, he recognises the numerous occasions on which "The Voice" has omitted apostrophes!]

Tries - Janes 3, Messo 2, Dempsey, Richards, Redfern, Clark
Conv - Clark 5, Messo 1
Pen - Clark

Man of the Match - Tim Janes

A sadly depleted 2nd XV put on a poor display against this experienced Chelmsford outfit.

The match started to go awry in the dressing rooms as Taylor struggled into the number 10 shirt. A welcome return for Colin Jones, starting the game at 9 made for an interesting pack based set of halfbacks. With new boys, Ellis, Benning and Williams taking the field this looked set to be an experience none would forget too soon.

As time wore on. 5 minutes into the match, it became clear that the Writtle backline was limited. The excellent Shields, in his club debut, and Blunt with Wilkins pairing at lock, provided good support in the loose. With a player or two light though the orange attack eventually petered out due to lack of numbers. Despite this the visitors never gave up. They were game to the end and put excellent pressure on the Chelmsford line for periods of the second half.

The tactic-less kicking of the stand off told the tale though. Writtle could not build on territory gained and all too often the Chelmsford wing would break the tackle and coast in, the full defensive line depleted.

To be fair to the Chelmsford side their halfback functioned well. Lander and Shads have played together since Noah was a boy and it showed. They marshalled the game superbly and it was only the erstwhile 9 tackling like a demon, that kept the score below the magic 100. By comparison, the Writtle halfbacks had played together for as long as they had played in those positions with a partnership dating back to 2.00 that afternoon. This shows that there is no substitute for experience and that you can't teach and old fat dog new tricks. That said the Chelmsford open side must look back in horror with the memory of being sidestepped by an 17 stone fly half haunting his every waking moment.

Congratulations to the debutantes who stuck at this so bravely and have since come back for more. With real half backs returning from injury it will be some time before this sort of carnage is wreaked upon Writtle II again.

Scorers - ahhemmm!

Sorry, the reporters on location were put off by the weather and retreated to the bar for most of the game! From memory, this was a very scratch Wanderers' side - with the likes of Jack Redfern playing at fly-half and many other players out of position. It was a shame that we were so short of regular players in key positions, as we could certainly have given Upminster II a close game with a stronger team...

Scorers

Try - Shields
Conv - Edwards
Pen - Edwards

Man of the Match - Robert Shields

May & Baker I v Writtle Wanderers 1st XV
(Essex 3 Shadow Fixture)
(Special Report by Steve Clark)

I was indeed the single supporter at M&B. I did take a few notes but am not too sure as to where I put them! I will have a look to see if I can find them.

From memory however, it was a tough game against a very physical M&B side who were stretching many of the rules of fair play in the rucks & mauls. The battle up front was pretty close with the Wanderers' scrum working well & the lineout as good as could be expected considering the wet & windy conditions. A well drilled M&B back line had the edge on what was a scratch Wanderers set up & made more of the ball in open play to cross the try line on 3 or 4(?) occasions.

On the whole those who opted for rugby over Lakeside could be pleased with a committed performance. I feel that a full strength Wanderers' side would have given M&B a very tough test & could well of been victorious.

Thanks to those M&B players who put on the Orange & Black to make up the numbers.

All points to Battye.

Scorers:

Try - Battye
Conv - Battye
Pen - Battye

Man of the Match - Robert Shields